Good morning! It is now 5AM and I have been up since around 2:45 AM. I'm pretty wired so I don't think I am going back to sleep, so I am just accepting I am up for the day.
Yes, this is due to my sweet baby girl. I have no idea why she likes to wake up all night. And yes, I am sure plenty of people out there have tons of advice and do's and do not's for me. Well, I've tried them all, read all the books, and I've come to the conclusion that some children are just difficult. And though she is difficult and runs me ragged sometimes, she brings me more joy and laughter than I have ever had in my life. I love her giggles, how she likes to share her stuffed animals with me, how when she gets mad at things she throws them, and how she is instantly comforted when I pick her up. She really is such a joy to me, sleepless nights and all.
As we've been going through these sleeping problems since her birth I've had to learn a lot of patience. I've had to realize I can't fix everything. I've had to come to accept that if I get sleep, I'm lucky. I've learned to lean more on my Savior, whose grace can carry me through each day of preschool and babysitting and mothering and "wife"-ing despite my severe lack of sleep. My goal lately is to eliminate complaining, and be like Nephi, who while he was tied up and miserable but continued to sing praises to the Lord (1 Nephi 18:16 Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions.) I don't know how he did it, but that is my goal.
One thing that has helped me in this goal is an article written by Leslie Ludy, one of my favorite Christian authors. She writes how our children can make us strong, even, or more like especially, when they are difficult. It is a beautiful article and came at the perfect time for me. Here is the link: http://setapartgirl.com/home.html. The article is called :Tensile Strength Training. Whether you have children or not it is great. It is a good reminder that the hard times we are given are to strengthen us and train us to stand as witnesses of Christ and to lean upon Him and His all encompassing grace.
Though I am not quite where Nephi was (I still murmur), I am starting to be grateful for the trials I do face. I am grateful to see His hand in my life strengthening me. I am grateful for His daily grace is that enables me to live each day to the fullest, despite the exhaustion. I am grateful for my sweet girl and all the joys and challenges she brings to me, and how already she is making me strong.
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