I feel like I have done well on my goals so far, yet rather than feeling accomplished I am feeling a need to "revamp" my goals. General Conference left me with a fresh desire to redevote my life to Christ. Part of this desire came from talking with one of my sisters about the mission.
"There's just so many rules" she says.
"But you want to live them because it is for Christ! It is a small price to pay," I replied, surprising myself at my own conviction.
As I reflected on my words, I felt a hint of the same devotion to Christ that I once had on my mission. Just that small reminder of what I had in the past, made me want to work for it again, now.
I want to live for Him and let my heart be his. I know in the past I have felt so close to Him that even the very mention of His name filled my heart with love and devotion. "Jesus the very thought of thee" was the hymn that fit my feelings perfectly. Now, caught up in the busyness of daily survival I feel my relationship with Him is not as strong as it once was. I miss Him. And I want to strive to live a more Christ centered life.
1. I am reading daily. But I don't give myself much time to really partake of His words. I have been very "Martha-like" lately...busy cooking, cleaning, bills, etc. Things that aren't bad in themselves. But my reading has been just another check of the list. I want to sit, drink, partake, of His words and His spirit as Mary did. And as I've thought and thought about it, the only way I can do this is if I get up an hour earlier, where I have time all to myself to think and meditate and rebuild my relationship with my Savior. This is NOT going to be easy, I LOVE to sleep. But, I ask myself, what do I love more, my sleep or the Lord? Right now the answer is easy...but my devotion dwindles when I groggily hit my alarm at 6AM. But that is my new goal. To have time to not just quickly read a chapter but to really meditate and use the quiet time to get to know my Best Friend again.
2. I want to keep having Family night and going to the temple of course, but I want to add one more thing. Daily family scripture reading. Usually I read with Brina before bed, then Brad before bed. My new plan is to have a family devotional each morning before we start our day. Just a short scripture thought and prayer to help us all be strengthened throughout the day and help us develop a habit of family scripture reading.
3. Brina is on a much better schedule now. Now I want to work on my schedule. I want to make sure I am following what God would have me do with my time. I don't want to even know how many hours I waste on the internet each day. I want to prioritize and use every moment of my day wisely...even the five minutes I have here and there. I want to feel peace when I kneel down each night, knowing I used my time according to His will and did not waste one minute of the day He gave me.
4. Exercising is one of my goals I still struggle on, so I will keep that where it is. I feel it is important to have a healthy body if I want to live a Christ-centered life, because then I will be more capable to do all that He requires of me.
5. Service. I feel I have been reaching out more to others than in the past but I still have so far to go. In reading my favorite book "Bonds that make us free" there is a young lady the author talks about who is full of genuine love for everyone. I love the way he describes her, how she makes every person who comes into her circle of influence feel so loved and special, no matter who they are or what circumstances they are in. I want to be like that girl. I want to put aside all my inhibitions and reach out in love and service to every single person I meet. I've been trying...but I know charity is a gift from God and I must not only try on my own but pray diligently to receive this gift.
6. His Will. My ultimate goal in all these is to do His will. I've realized I have taken the reigns of my life lately, not bothering to ask His opinion. I wanted to start a preschool, so I'm trying to do that. I wanted to move, so we did. I want to truly humble myself and put aside all my wants and desires and really seek to know what the Lord wants me to do. And I will do it.
7. Mighty prayer. As part of my "basic" goals I've been praying more often. But my prayers are often my petitioning for the Lord for this or that. I want to really engage in mighty prayer. The article here
is what I will use as my guide.
So there are my revamped goals. They feel a lot harder to me than my "basics" but having accomplished those gives me encouragement. I feel the need to start these is now, for time really is so precious and I am so good at wasting it. Now is the time to repent. Now is the time to strive to rebuild my relationship with my Savior. I miss Him. Now is the time, and I can't wait.